Some Time to Myself

The folks have gone for a walk down the beach and Chris is lying in bed playing video games. Thought I would take the spare minutes to post.

I’m feeling pretty tired and pretty cranky today. Chris is still sick. We were really happy when things seemed to be on the upswing over the weekend, and then he nose dived again. He’ll have times where he’s feeling okay and will be up and around, but then it’s back to bed. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the most compassionate person when it comes to sickies. I have a hard time letting myself be sick. I have a hard time being sympathetic when I’m exhausted and tired myself. When Chris is sick he often doesn’t sleep well. When he doesn’t sleep, I don’t sleep. When I don’t sleep I turn into this cranky, emotional ball of goo. Thus the difficulty in being more compassionate to my other half.

Whenever sickness goes through our house I start thinking of our wedding vows. Seems like an odd connection maybe, but the day we got married we were both sick. Chris more so than me. I didn’t even know if he would be standing up when I walked into the church. He was, thankfully. We decided to keep our vows simple and traditional. When I got to the part about “in sickness and in health” I couldn’t help but laugh as I said them. Before we were married I could still separate myself from Chris a bit when he was sick and tell myself that he was on his own. Now that we’ve been married for over a year I’m realizing just how much effort living out your vows to your spouse can take. I feel totally done. I’ve had to literally drag my butt out of bed every morning this week. I’ve turned off the alarm on several occasions. I have listened to Chris be sick and groany and have thought to myself “Ugh! I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep! ” Then I’ve gotten back up and went on with what I needed to do that day. In the last two weeks I’ve had to apologize for being a tired, selfish jerk. I mean, it’s not like Chris is deciding to be sick because that’s more fun! I’m so looking forward to Sunday when we can both sleep and rest and maybe find said hole for a while.

Thoughts on having the parents here:
It’s been so great to have Mom and Dad around this week. It’s actually been pretty relaxing. We’ve gone out and done something every day, but haven’t gone crazy. They’ve been having fun just chilling out and enjoying the beach etc. We’ve gone visiting and had friends over. I love that they now know many of the people that we love here. I love that they’ve seen our life here.

Before Mom and Dad arrived there were all these things running through my head that I wanted to do with them and show them. I think we’ve done most of them, but it wasn’t this mad rush to check things off the “to do” list. There was a big part of me that just wanted to let them be and to let them decide what they thought about Haiti. I wanted them to just take it in and let it be what it would be for them. I wasn’t sure what they would think. Turns out they love it here. That makes me happy. They’re already talking about their visit next year which makes us even happier. In a strange way I feel a bit more complete because my to worlds have finally come together and one side now understands the other.

We took Mom and Dad to visit Barb on Tuesday, walked to Amanee and saw Barb’s school. We went to the bank and they got to see what a long drawn out process that can be, even though it was actually a faster trip than most. We also did a bit of shopping. Then I started feeling crummy so we headed home.

Wednesday we did a visit up to Canaan so Mom and Dad could see the place. We went back yesterday so they could meet Gladys and Henri, two of the founders. Chris and I love these people so much and now Mom and Dad know why. We had a good visit over coffee and then went on our way to Moulin Sur Mer to walk around and see the ‘museum’. I was able to show them the exact spot where Chris proposed to me. That was fun. This afternoon we’re going to head over to Club Indigo to enjoy the pool and beach, then a yummy dinner. I’m hoping Chris will be feeling well enough to go, but if not Mom, Dad and I will still go and enjoy ourselves and let Chris rest.

Tomorrow morning will be an early trip into the airport. I’ll be sad, but mostly because it’s going to be a long time before I see them again. It’ll be hard to walk away from them at the Departures gate, but it’ll be different because I know they’ll be going home with a whole new understanding of my life here and that we’ve got a connection now that we haven’t had for the last two years. THAT, makes me really, really happy.

Enough blogging, I want to savor the parents while I can.

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About Leslie

I'm Leslie. Wife. Mother. Missionary. In the day to day my husband and I are responsible for running Clean Water for Haiti, a humanitarian mission that builds and distributes water filters to Haitian families. Living in Haiti full time provides lots of stories, and as I tell my husband, our grandkids probably won't believe most of them. Maybe writing them down will give me some credibility.

One thought on “Some Time to Myself

  1. Leslie,Sleep deprivation really sucks and it sounds like you are in the throes of it PLUS adding the emotional aspect of the P’s being in town, introducing them to your life, etc.All that emotion alone can exhaust you.The bright side is this. You are going through this now to build you up and get you prepared for yes! The baby! because believe you, me, you haven’t seen anything yet. Not to scare you, but you will definitely be prepared and be able to keep sleep deprivation in check. This is one of those things moms don’t tell you but it’s pretty universal :) You’ll be like, Bring It, I’ve Been Here Before and KNOW I Can Get Through it AGAIN!!!!!I so hope the rest of your parents stay in really great and I hope Chris feels better soon. Hang in there!

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