I Wanna Whine

Today is one of those days where I loathe this place, simply because it is what it is. I know, that’s not a very good attitude to have, yet it’s the one that I have in this very moment. I’m feeling frustrated because Haiti appears to be winning, again. Boo!

I wrote about the truck overheating last week when Jean and I were in Port. Well, it had a hole in the radiator, which has now been fixed or replaced. I don’t know which, I just know that part is fixed. The other problem that the truck has is with the water pump. Yesterday one of our workers went to Port to install a few filters and picked up the new water pump for us. The water pump is the right part, but the seal, isn’t. Yes, surprise, surprise.

Why is this grounds for making me cranky? Because said truck is the one that’s supposed to whisk us away tomorrow because Jean needs the other one to do a delivery run to the Artibonite. The same worker has hopped on a tap tap to go back to Port to get the right parts for us, but by the time he gets back it’ll probably be after dark, meaning Chris can’t install it until tomorrow morning, meaning that we may or may not be going anywhere tomorrow.

I just feel like someone kicked me. I know it’s totally not a big deal, but I feel tired and I don’t do well with disappointment. I was so looking forward to getting away for the entire weekend and I get so sick and tired of constantly having to change plans to accomodate Haiti. I feel like I can never get excited about anything while I live here because it probably will go wrong or totally fall apart.

It could be worse. I know. I just feel annoyed and frustrated. I had a crummy sleep last night. I felt really agitated, Chris wasn’t sleeping well and Liv didn’t seem to want to sleep either. We all really need to get away for a weekend. I can feel burnout setting in. Chris and I are having to make sure that we’re not snapping at each other and I’m seeing how the smallest things are getting to us. I feel lame sometimes when I think that we’ve only gone for 2 1/2 months since our last break, but then I remind myself that in that time we’ve become parents, had a visit from family, started two major building projects and someone in our neighborhood was murdered. On top of all our regular mission activities. It’s a lot to digest and I don’t know that we’re doing that great of a job with it. Some days I feel like we’re just pushing through.Normally you would think that we could just chill out on the weekend, but it hasn’t been that way around here. We seem to constantly have people coming and going and when I’ve tried to set boundaries in the last month or so they haven’t really been respected, and it’s taking it’s toll. Going away where we can just relax feels like the only way to get away from it right now. Enter the frustration. And the need to whine.

So, I’m asking that you pray for us. Pray for something to work out so we have a working vehicle tomorrow. I forgot to mention that we had a full day of things planned for Port, including an important appointment for Chris with an allergist so we can figure out how he can live without having to use his inhaler several times a day. Pray that we get the rest we need this weekend. Pray for my attitude, that God will give me some joy and let me move past the frustration quickly and not be so much on edge.

Okay, I’m done my pitty party now. We can return to our regular programming schedule.

~Leslie

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This entry was posted in thinking out loud, this is haiti, this is life by Leslie. Bookmark the permalink.

About Leslie

I'm Leslie. Wife. Mother. Missionary. In the day to day my husband and I are responsible for running Clean Water for Haiti, a humanitarian mission that builds and distributes water filters to Haitian families. Living in Haiti full time provides lots of stories, and as I tell my husband, our grandkids probably won't believe most of them. Maybe writing them down will give me some credibility.

8 thoughts on “I Wanna Whine

  1. Praying for you Leslie…you are so wise to realize when you need a break and then, hopefully get it.You will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight….my daughter doesn’t sleep much, thus, neither do I, so I have lots of GOD time in the middle of the night.Prayers….

  2. I think anyone who has spent anytime in Haiti knows that 2 1/2 months is a long time there! Maybe equivalent to 5 months of August where everyones air conditioners are broken and you have no privacy because the curtains on your windows somehow disappeared. We should count up your major life changes score and see if you are entitled to a “Whine.” Yep, did it, your entitled. Stamping your feet might help too if you could get your endorphens going! jkI think a bout of cabin fever with a new baby is pretty much on schedule for you. Give yourself and Chris a no penalty time out so you can recharge and refresh. Even having someone who you trust take charge of Olivia while you two go off for a while. Hugs and prayersBarb J :)

  3. Hi Leslie, after 24 years of living in Haiti my in-laws refer to plans as, “This is the change, subject to plan.” Keep your chin up and yes, you are entitled to whine now and then.Amy

  4. P.S. After 2 1/2 years of trying to wade through an adoption process that is still not complete, I agree about “the change, subject to plan”.Amy

  5. :-0 ut oh…. you sound like a new mama who needs some time off. Here’s an idea, maybe they could check to make sure they have the right gasket BEFORE they leave town next time. I learned that the hard way once when I changed my oil filter. Pulled the old filter off, screwed on the new filter, poured in 5 quarts of oil, checked the dip stick, started the car, go out to check the dip stick again and there were 5 quarts of oil on the garage floor! Wrong size filter-actually the filter LOOKED like the same size it was just the rubber gasket that was not right. From that day on (till I got a NEW husband) I made sure I looked and compaired! Lessons learned are sometimes funny.Just to think, by the time the worker gets back… Chris will have rested all day and he’ll still feel like putting the water pump on tonight.Have a great weekend. I have faith.V

  6. I am praying that whinning worked because I keep checking on you and there is no new blog…… praying you are relaxingange

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