Because I have an iPod I get update messages. Yesterday I downloaded the most recent update which came with Safari, a new browser. I’ve been using FireFox and liked it for the most part, but I have to admit that Safari, as it claims, is faster. I think I might switch over for a while and see how it goes. Plus it’s just sexy. Yes, who knew that the internet would ever be referred to as sexy, but it is frequently.
Things here are fine. I’m glad it’s a short week this week. Not sure why, but who isn’t happy for holidays when you get them. This weekend all of the neighbors, which include some friends of ours, will be out starting either later today or tomorrow morning. I’m looking forward to hanging out, swimming in their pools, visiting and just being with people. I’ve been going through one of those “phases” recently where I feel frustrated with not being closes to things social. We have a great group of missionaries around us, but Chris and I are the youngest of the bunch by about 20 years. Now that we have a family I have this craving to be with people closer to my own age. I guess I ALWAYS have that craving, but you know what I mean. I’ll be very honest, I feel jealous at times of the missionaries that live closer to or in Port. There’s this whole other social network and access to things and places there that we don’t have. I know, I should be content in my circumstances, but sometimes it’s hard because I feel cut of from things that feel “normal”. It comes and goes though, and like I said, this is a phase. I know it’ll probably pass soon. Maybe even after the weekend when I’m all tired out from visiting – LOL!
Yesterday Barb was over for a visit. That was nice. She used to come at least once a week to use our internet and usually stayed for dinner, then Chris would drive her home when he went to Rotary. Well, now she has her own internet and Chris isn’t in Rotary anymore, so we don’t see each other as often as we used to. We both realized that yesterday. I think we may have to make a point of visiting more often. We got into talking about boundaries and living here and how even when you want to set boundaries, there’s just no concept of respecting them for the most part. It’s hard, very hard at times, but it is what it is. The hardest part is trying to be firm even when it feels like the easiest thing to do would be give in and let what you need take back seat. I’m not talking about being selfish here, or totally putting yourself first, just to clarify. I am talking about knowing how to take care of oneself and family and knowing what you need to be healthy, then trying to set some boundaries to make sure that happens so you can serve well over the long run. It’s hard to get rest and time “away” from work when you live and work in the same place, the accepted work week is 6 days and there is no real sense of privacy. I know I’ve written about this before, so no need to dwell on it now. Just something that we were talking about that’s challenging living here.
I realized yesterday that I was feeling a bit stir crazy inside. Not the “I have to get out of the house” kind of stir crazy, but the “I feel like I need to vent something but I’m not sure what” kind of stir crazy. I find I get this way when there’s a lot going on and I don’t give myself the space to process it or I’m not doing a good job of looking after myself emotionally, spiritually or physically. Sometimes it’s just the little things that make me feel more like myself, like taking a few minutes to slap on some make-up, not because I need it, but because I feel pretty; or taking the time to journal just so I’m not carrying so much around in my brain. Writing and talking have the same effect for me – I get it out and then I can move on. Chris is an internal processor, I’m definitely NOT. It’s taken us almost two years (yikes! can you believe that??) to come to terms with that :) Sometimes the way I vent is by just having a good crying session. I might not know exactly why I’m crying, but I know that there’s some sort of good reason, and maybe eventually it’ll come to mind :) So, yesterday I plunked Liv on the couch next to me where so was completely happy with kicking the back of it and looking around, and wrote in my new journal for a while (mmmm…love new journals) which felt good. Today I slapped on some make-up and this afternoon I made another pot of coffee, just because I felt like it. Don’t worry, it’s decaf, which is good because Chris had had, like, 5 cups of it. Oiye!
Yonese is mopping the house. Not that you need to know that, but she is and it’s making me happy right now. Why, because the house is clean and I didn’t do it. She did a crazy clean on Tuesday after we shared what the allergist said about cleaning house to get rid of as much dust as possible. Haitians, when they dust, like to take a cloth and actually HIT things and surfaces, rather than wiping them. I’ve tried explaining that all that does is loosen the dust and it falls again. I’ve always been a big fan of wet wiping things and we’ve been working on that, but the allergist said the same thing and because it came from a doctor it has been taken very seriously. Hallelujah! I was really resistant to having someone else do a thorough house clean before. Now that I think back I can’t seem to understand why. I think part of me wanted to keep my own house. Part of me didn’t want to be upper class white woman with a cleaning lady. The reality is that if we were living in North America in a house that had sealed windows and doors and paved roads and grass and no one was burning garbage and sweeping their yards that would be fine. However, we don’t. We live here, sandwiched between the ocean and the National Highway that looks more like a goat trail. When the cars go by the dust flies and gets blown downhill towards us. One can clean, I mean really clean, the house and have it all shiny and pretty, but it’ll only last for about 5 seconds before there’s another layer of dust on things. Now that we’ve got the baby and she tends to want to set our schedule I will gladly make way and let Yonese go crazy. The woman works hard and I love her for it.
Olivia is napping right now. She seems to be slowly falling into a new routine, but isn’t quite there yet. She’s been kind of fussy for the last week or so, but this morning she happily sat in her bouncy seat for hours just hanging out next to Mom and looking out the window. She’s only waking up once a night now which I L-O-V-E! She’s started spitting up a bit more, which is new for us because she never used to. My favorite though is when she actually shoots milk out her nose. I have no idea if this is normal for babies or if we have a gifted one. She’s actually only done it twice, but her expression is priceless when it happens. Total surprise. She kind of freaks herself out. Ah yes, these are the moments we’ll remember and be so proud of. I’ve been trying to post a video of her for my parents (Hi Nanna and Pappy!!) who haven’t gotten to meet her yet, and well, for all of you stalkers too that will enjoy whatever I throw your way, but it’s not working yet. I think I’ll try it later today and just walk away from it to give it time to do it’s thing.
Well, I think I’m going to sign off now. I’m liking this Safari thing so I think I might load all my book marks into it and give ‘er a go and see how we get along.
Have a great Easter weekend!