I apologize for the fact that many of you have been waiting for a WEEK to find out what’s going on with our adoption. Mostly it’s due to the fact that we are feeling discouraged and it’s hard to talk about things when we’re there. In fact we really just want to curl up under a rock and mope. The other part is that we are almost done a training class and have been busy managing that and the other things that come with it.
Chris went to Port Friday and found out that there were some things in our dossier that apparently hadn’t been finished so he needed to make sure that they would get finished and made some headway with that. Then it was time to talk to the people at Immigration/Emmigration about how to process the last stage of our dossier.
The frustrating news is that aside from some sort of crazy miracle or miracle connections nothing is moving through there right now. They are still focusing on post-earthquake things and adoptions are not at the top of their priority list. If we just dropped our papers off at the office they would get put on a pile, probably on the floor, to be looked at sometime in the next year. I wish I were exaggerating. We have a friend who met with a Cabinet Minister of some sort (Chris was told this was our best bet) and he is looking at things to see if there is even a slight possibility that he can help, decide if he wants to help, and then tell us what would be involved.
Once again, I feel like we’ve been winded. I feel like we’ve gone from this place of feeling like we were making some progress to being thrown back into the fray again. And never knowing when we’re going to be done. This roller coaster is getting really exhausting. Mostly we just want the freedom to travel. We want to be able to take a vacation out of Haiti and get some rest and regroup a bit. To reconnect as a family away from this place.
Please pray for us. Actually, I know many of you already are. Please pray specifically that something opens up and things will move. Next week will be one month until we’d like to travel. It seems impossible. We know that God loves the “impossible” and we also know that God has bigger plans than we do, things that often don’t make sense to us at the time. There is a very, very good chance that we are going nowhere next month. That will be incredibly disappointing so I’m asking you to pray that God will be preparing us for whatever comes and that we’ll be very aware of that, that our hearts will be okay. We want to be hopeful, but we also have to be realistic too. It’s hard sitting in that middle, that unknown place waiting to see what comes.
Now on to other things. Day to day things.
On Wednesday evening Olivia got her first haircut. She’s 2.5 in a week or so and it’s her first haircut. It was emotionally hard for both Chris and I, I think.
When we first brought Liv home she had this fine, wispy, straight hair. Eventually her curls started coming in, but they did it right down the center of her head. She had what I called a fro-hawk. Eventually it started filling in along the sides, but it’s only been in the last few months that the back has started to fill in. The result was that the top of her head had hair that was about 6 inches long when you stretched it out, and the back was about 1.5 inches. She had a hair shelf. Literally, a line where her long hair ended.
Looking back we probably should have cut it a long time ago, but we’ve talked about putting her hair in dreadlocks. Not big fat ones, just thinner, pretty ones. That way her hair can grow out, it’ll be easier to look after and when she’s older she can decide if she wants to keep them or not.
I had suggested cutting her hair a while ago and Chris was pretty opposed to it. He thought it would be cool for her to be able to say that she had never had a hair cut, that she still had the hair she had as a baby. I get that. I was actually the first one to say it, but he called me silly when I said it ;) I was getting frustrated with how uneven her hair was, and it wasn’t ready to go into dreads yet, or at least not the shorter parts, so it would have looked silly if we did the top alone. Also, black hair is brittle by nature and breads, so the fact is Liv doesn’t have her baby hair, or very little of it. And, it is hard to look after and I’m the one that needs to do it. It’s fine for us to want to be sentimental, but I wanted to look at what was best over all.
So, we cut it. It’s not super short, though her curl is really tight so every day it shrinks down some more. I cut off a few inches to even it out with the back and sides. I’ll admit, it was emotional and I second guessed myself until Liv ran her fingers over it and got a huge grin when she saw herself in the mirror. I was fully prepared for a melt down when she saw it was short, but she loved it. Truth is lately she hasn’t liked having her hair in braids and keeps asking me to “take my hair off”. Meaning “out”. Take the braids out. Now it can all grow out together and when it’s long enough we will start dreading it and let it grow, grow, grow.
Sometimes parenting is hard and I feel really wiped out. Yesterday we had a sweet little time as a family that is still leaving me feeling happy and content.
I had a cold bath and sat long enough so that I came out shivering. So refreshing! As I was getting out it started to rain :) Olivia woke up from her nap. She had a fever yesterday and had slept pretty well, but was still feeling “yucky”. We cuddled up on our bed with the computer, Liv’s quilt, and the movie “Up!”
We took a break to go down and eat supper with everyone, then came up and put Liv in her jammies and cuddled back on the bed to finish the movie. It was so fun! I think this was the first movie that Olivia was totally into for the entire time. We thought she would fall asleep and we’d just tuck her in bed, but she stuck it out and was having so much fun watching it. When exciting things were happening, she was sitting up and waving her arms and yelling at the computer. So fun!
It was just one of those really great little family moments where so many things come together. I’m grateful.