I should be heading off to bed because my throat is all “yucky” as you would say. But I’m not, because I have a whole bunch of stuff running around in my head right now and I want to write it down so you know this part of your story.
Sunday we found out that we’re making progress we weren’t quite expecting to make with your adoption. See, Dad and I had pretty much given up on the idea of going home this month. And truth be told, we have given up that idea. For better ones. I hope as you grow up that you’ll see God’s hand move clearly in your life as your Dad and I are seeing it right now.
Soon, si Dieu vle (as they say here in Haiti), we will get to apply for your passport, and if things go as we are hoping, and as so many are praying, you will finally get to go to Canada. The realization that we only have one more hump to get over until this whole crazy adoption thing is done is kind of surreal to Dad and I. It’s been so long that I think we started feeling like it would never be over.
I’ll be honest, we made plans about three months ago and asked people to pray us home. Our goal date is fast approaching and we know we’re not going. We have been praying for the last month that we would be okay with whatever God had in store for our family, trusting and believing that he has better plans for us than we have for ourselves.
Sunday night we went to bed with about a billion plans and ideas running through our heads. Neither of us slept well because our heads were running. The next morning as Dad and I talked the jumbled mess in our heads came together and it was so clean. Instead of having tons of plans, we now have one plan. A plan that is flexible. But a plan nonetheless.
It’s so fun for me to see you getting excited about Canada. You are talking about it on your own now, and it makes us realize that your little head is swimming with ideas of things that are fun for you, things that you can only imagine right now. Just this morning you came in the bedroom as I was sorting laundry and told me you wanted to watch a show. “Wanna watch a show Cinderella. In Canada. In Canada wif Nanna.” You are crazy about Cinderella right now, which is a little bizarre for Dad and I because we have always been intentional about not doing a lot of “character” stuff in our house. You have a book that someone gave you though and you love it. You love the dress and you love to sit on the couch or in your room and “read” Cinderella. And yes, Baby Girl, one day, hopefully soon, you will get to watch Cinderella with Nanna. She’s looking forward to it.
Yesterday you saw a picture of an airplane on your dad’s computer and you said, “That’s an airplane. For me. For me to go to Canada?” You are so smart. You’d better do something amazing with all those brains when you grow up.
When I think about going home to Canada (because when you do what we do you end up with several “homes”) what I’m looking forward to the most is sharing my home with you. The place I grew up and the place that will always be deeply rooted in me. I can’t wait to go for walks and to take you to playgrounds. I can’t wait to go through the seasons changing with you. For you to experience snow for the first time. To go sledding together and to hear you giggle that makes your dad and I gush. The one that comes from your belly when you’re completely abandoned to the fun we’re having. I can’t wait to see you camping with all your grandparents, and to pick out a Christmas tree with you. I honestly can’t. And when I try to describe all the feelings I have right now, I don’t have the words.
Olivia, I can’t wait to take you to Canada. To end one part of our journey as a family, and start another one. One where we are free to be and travel and adventure and explore. To move on. This week your dad and I have moved from a place of discouragement and acceptance to a place of hope and excitement. It’s going to be so fun to look back and see how the rest of the story came together.
I love you my little soon to be Canuck. Good thing you’re Uncle Darren got you the M is for Moose alphabet book. You’ll be all practiced up and ready to go.