Catching Up

Wow, I forgot what it’s like having a newborn in the house. If I’ve had time to sit down at the computer lately it seems I get a few minutes and then a certain someone decides he wants his mom and I’m reduced to one finger typing, if I do any typing at all. That said, any blog posts I’ve started have been filed in the Draft folder, and if I was able to publish anything, it probably would have looked like this:

Today I got out of bed…

I managed to eat another cold mea…

Showered. Dressed.

One thing I’ve learned in the last couple of weeks, or rather been deeply reminded of, is how heart wrenching being a mom is. When you hear your baby cry you want to fix whatever it is that’s wrong, but that usually means going through a process of deduction. Not easy when you’re tired and feeling frustrated at the same time. One of our biggest hurdles in the last two weeks has been Alex not gaining back his birth weight very quickly. It hasn’t been for want of trying. I wish I was exagerating when I said that he has been nursing for, on occasion, two and a half hours at a time. Last week at our doctors appointment I learned that it’s possible for it to take a very. long. time for a mother’s milk to come in. And apparently I am one of those mothers. It was heart breaking to know that my little man had essentially been going hungry for the last week and a half, even though we had both been trying so hard to make breast feeding work. Our first step was to put me on Domperidone, which increases milk supply, and it’s been helping. But, at today’s appointment his weight had only gone up by one ounce. Ugh. We decided to keep up with the previous strategy and to try a couple other things in conjunction – pumping and supplementing with formula for one feed a day so he can start getting some extra calories. Breast feeding will always be the first step, then the formula after he’s nursed for a bit.

I have to admit, I’ve had some good cries because of all this. I’m trying so hard, but as the doctor said today, not everyone is made the same and sometimes it takes extra work to make breast feeding work. We want this so bad and I’m so grateful that Chris is incredibly supportive. We’ve made all these decisions as a team and he’s designated himself as bottle feeder so I get a bit of a break and he gets some of that bonding time. Again, it’s so hard as a parent to realize that your kid isn’t getting enough of what he truly needs. Don’t get me wrong, Alex is okay. He is gaining, just very slowly. And he’s alert and healthy, so he’s good. We just need to fatten him up a bit.

Right now Olivia is practicing her “bubbling” in the bath tub. She’s doing pretty good as a big sister. Actually much better than we first anticipated she would. We thought she would be more reserved etc, but in fact she’s very enthusiastic. Too much so most days. The thing we’re having to balance now is that we sometimes feel smothered or are telling her very regularly that she needs to back up, don’t touch, etc. We know this is hard for her, and it’s hard for us. It’s hard to find that balance of wanting her to feel involved and not getting crowded. A happy medium will be found I’m sure.

We’re excited because tomorrow Gramma and Grandad arrive for a week and a half. Auntie Abby arrives Friday as well as Uncle Matt. Lots of family this week and we’re very happy about it. I actually haven’t met Matt yet because he and his family are missionaries in Albania. It just happens that they’re home on furlough right now and it worked out for Matt to make the trip up.

Well, I know this isn’t super exciting, but our life pretty much consists of feeding and napping and feeding and napping right now, so what can I say? Please pray that we get the little man fattened up a bit. It’s a bit overwhelming to say the least and we just want what is best for him.

~Leslie

PS-I do have more pictures, but they’re on my camera, and my transfer cable is not with me at this moment. But I will get them up! Soon.

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About Leslie

I'm Leslie. Wife. Mother. Missionary. In the day to day my husband and I are responsible for running Clean Water for Haiti, a humanitarian mission that builds and distributes water filters to Haitian families. Living in Haiti full time provides lots of stories, and as I tell my husband, our grandkids probably won't believe most of them. Maybe writing them down will give me some credibility.

4 thoughts on “Catching Up

  1. I had a similar problem nursing Mike. He would scream + spit up. Finally he became very dehydrated, and since that was 48 years ago, I had to feed him with a bottle, using formula. I felt so hurt that I had to miss that bonding xperience with him. But it all worked out for a happy baby, hence a happy mom. Hello to Matthew et al. Love, Sue

  2. There are so many emotions tied up with breastfeeding. Some people are very supportive about difficulties encountered while others sniff, “Well I didn’t have any problems. After all, women have been doing it for ages…”
    OH YEAH? And babies have starved, or had wet nurses, or goat’s milk for ages, too.
    You are a creative, reflective, and resilient person. You will find a balance–a comfort zone– that works for you and Alex.
    Domperidone, eh? Have you considered Dom Perignon instead? ;-)

  3. Don’t let anything make you feel guilty. The baby will be loved so much that as long as you hold him and get him eating well, it will all work out well. I was indeed in withdrawl and so glad you are doing a minute to catch us up. When do you head back to the island?

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