I feel like I just gave birth. Not experiencing any physical pain, but I am sort of feeling empty.
I’ve been working, literally for months, on revamping all of the mission’s promo materials. I’ve been excited about it for a while as ideas have formulated and I’ve learned a new program to make those ideas become some sort of reality. Adjusting this, adding that, deleting this, changing that. I would work on it when I had time, until recently when it became more pressing. Finding an online place to print it all and deliver it wasn’t so hard. Making adjustments to the documents themselves to fit the pre-requisites was moderately frustrating, but I hacked through it and am really happy with the results. I’m crossing my fingers that it all looks as good printed as it did on my computer.
I feel like I’ve invested so much of myself in this. And the scary part for me is that this is one of the first times where my creativity in this format will be on display for who knows how many people to see. Does it look good? Does it look professional? Does it look cohesive? All questions rolling around in my head for months. I had moments of giddiness as I made progress and figured out how to manipulate text and photos to become what I wanted them to be.
Over the last week as things started getting closer to being done I realized I was kind of procrastinating. You would think I would be happy to get this over and done with.
Today as I was uploading files to the printing company website I realized I was feeling all sorts of things. I was kind of sad. I was feeling a sense of loss. I was feeling like I wasn’t quite ready to let go.
I realized as I thought about all of it that projects like this are an emotional process for me. I pour so much of myself into them that it makes sense that I would feel deeply about them. Part of me, in a weird sort of way, is in there. I have to let it go into the big world to see if it can stand on it’s own now.
And now it’s time to move on.
And put my kids to bed.
I did have a bit of affirmation that all my hard work was worth it this afternoon. Part of the process was tying everything together so it looked cohesive and professional. I’ve been using certain elements across the board – you know, “branding” of sorts where people will look at things and associate them with Clean Water for Haiti. I didn’t realize just how effective I’d been in my efforts until Olivia walked in the room, saw my computer screen that had a picture of some kids and said, “Hey, it’s the Clean Water for Haiti kids!”