I think sometimes God allows us to sit in that uncomfortable place for a while so that we can more appreciate his hand of provision in our lives.
Right now Chris and I are feeling pretty uncomfortable. In our hearts we know it’s good discomfort, but it’s uncomfortable none the less. It’s in our human nature to want to move through it, to find fixes, to be busy and to rush along. But sometimes we have to sit and wait.
The mission has been working towards a relocation for over two years now. I remember when we started talking about the possibility and it seemed kind of crazy, but necessary for a variety of reasons. Chris and I had long conversations about the pros and cons. We hashed it through over and over. We knew this was the right direction to move in without a doubt, we just had no idea what the picture would look like when it happened.
Truth is, we still don’t.
In the last year we’ve been looking at land, talking prices, looking at titles and all that crazy stuff. Sometimes it makes our heads hurt. Sometimes we ask if it’s all worth it. We know it is. It just feels a bit (ha!) overwhelming at times.
We know that we’re getting close to finalizing some things, but right now it’s all sort of just floating out there. We have NO idea what the final picture will look like. Will these land negotiations go well? How fast will it happen? And the biggest question of all – will we have the funds when it’s time?
I think that’s the biggest concern/stressor/worry right now. Where will the money come from not only to buy land, but develop things? It seems impossible. We know that when we’re ready to move we will sell the current property and recoup everything that was invested, but what does it look like now?
God has us in that place of discomfort. We’ve been here before and we knew at the time that it required us stepping out if faith even when it made absolutely no sense. Sometimes those decisions seem crazy or irresponsible from the outside. But God doesn’t always like to do things the normal, easy way. He asks that we trust him, even when it looks insane or impossible.
That’s when he likes to show up the most and remind us that he is, in fact, God.
So right now we’re trying to be okay with sitting in that place. We’re trying to be okay with waiting and being patient. It’s hard, but we feel a lot of peace about the direction things are heading in and we want to let God show us what he has up his sleeves. It’s exciting and scary but we know his plans are perfect and way better that what we can ever imagine.
We need wisdom, lots of it, right now because we know the decisions we make regarding the move will affect the mission for years to come. It’s a lot of responsibility. We take it very seriously. Please pray for us and the rest of our board in the coming days.
And, while I don’t feel it’s the time to share details, I can tell you that we feel peace and we’re excited. Today Chris and I took some time to walk around the community that we’re looking at and spend time visiting with people and we came home feeling so encouraged. We know that there are always things going on under the surface here, but we really like the area and we have really enjoyed meeting people. They like that we’re taking the time to introduce ourselves and spend time talking. Sitting in their lakous and trying to learn their names. Learning how things are done in the community and who’s related to who. It’s the right way to do things here because it shows a value for the relationships that are so vital. I’m just feeling gratitude right now for the journey we’re on, even if I have no idea what the end result looks like.