70 lbs, Baby!

Chris’ parents are coming next week and we’re all very excited. They used their Air Miles to book first class seats. While we’re elated for their step up in comfort level and actually jealous because we’re always going to be that family that walks by the first class passengers with two kids in tow who may or may not be needing a nap, what we hear when someone says “first class” is three free 70 lb checked bags PER PERSON!!! There may have been some high-fiving involved too.

And then we went shopping.

Chris knew this fact before I did so he was already ordering all sorts of crazy boy things like inverters and battery chargers and grain grinders and ratchet straps and sacks of malted grains and all the heavy things. I kept asking if he’d left any weight for me and his parents and he just kept saying things like “SIX FREE 70 lb BAGS!”

I finally got my act together and did my shopping. You know, people say it’s exhausting going shopping in real life, but let me tell you – online shopping is hard work people! Especially when you have two kids that are constantly popping their heads under your elbows and saying things like, “Ooooh!! What are you looking at Mom? Can I have a snack? I want juice! CARRY YOUUU!**” while you’re desperately trying to remember all the things you told yourself you needed to get while you had the fabulous opportunity of SIX 70 lb BAGS!!! (**That’s Alex speak for “pick me up”. I keep asking him when he’s really going to carry me, but apparently I am not funny. Nor am I getting carried any time soon.) 

Moving on.

So, I got my shopping on and I managed to kill what felt like a never ending list of wants and needs. When I emailed my mother-in-law to tell her that I was finally done I had to assure her that my things were small and could fit in the tiny crevices (unlike some people I know, ahem) even if it felt like a billion packages were arriving. Because there would literally be a billion packages arriving. The list that I sent her of what to expect was as long as my arm. You don’t believe me?

Ahem.

IMG_1810[1]

Yeah. I wasn’t exaggerating.

And now that we’re in the “less than a week” window I find my brain regularly thinking “Oh yeah! That XYZ is coming next week with Mum and Dad. Sweet!” That, and things that I knew might need to be replaced, are breaking or falling apart or just sort of squeaking by. They know reinforcements are coming and they can move quietly into retirement. They know.

Some of those said items are undies and training pants for Little Mister. Am I excited about that? Um, yes. Just today I thought, “We might be getting closer to the end of this diaper thing.” When I started ordering things last month I thought it might be a bit presumptuous, but now I’m thinking otherwise. He’s been pretending to go potty, which means he basically sits there and gives me status updates like, “it coming” but never actually does anything. He’s got what to do with toilet paper down pat, though there’s never any actual need for it. But hey! We’ll chalk it up as one point for the home team.

Anyway.

In the past week he’s been getting more and more vocal about his bodily functions and insisting on diaper changes right after. Good thing, right? I think yes. Chris has also taught him how to take off his diapers so he can do things like get into the bath at night more independently. Independence = good. Taking diapers off in the yard and running around butt naked and then finally coming up and telling us he took his diaper off = not so good.

Yesterday Alex was taking a “nap”. I use that term loosely because some days he goes down and sleeps like nobody’s business. Other days, he just pretends he’s sleeping and when he finally “wakes up” we find that a cyclone has gone through the kids room. It is blond and cute and yells “CARRY YOU!!!”

When Alex “woke up” yesterday, not only had the cyclone whipped through, it did it naked. And it told us that it had pooped. And then wiped it’s own butt.

All three people over the age of 6 in our house stopped dead, said nothing for a moment, and scanned the room looking for it. And we didn’t see it. Yes, there were wipes on the floor, but they weren’t even dirty, just spread everywhere. Hmmm. Then we asked some questions and I peeked in the diaper pail.

Yep. The kid took off his own diaper, dumped it in the diaper pail, and then proceeded to wipe his own butt. And not a trace of it anywhere else in the room.

And in that split moment all I could think of was, “Soooo glad those undies are coming next week with Mum and Dad…” And while I’m excited that we might be seriously moving in that direction, a part of me is very aware of the fact that my baby boy is growing up. I have entire posts written in my head of all the super cute things that he’s doing and saying right now and part of me wishes I could bottle them and keep them forever, while the other part of me is so excited to see who he will become. Isn’t that the great clash of parenting?

So, while I’m looking at our diapers and wondering how much longer we’ll be having to pack them around and what not, a big part of me was also very happy to have Little Man snuggle in deep tonight and fall asleep on me in the rocking chair. And we may have sat a bit longer, just so I could bottle it a bit.

~Leslie

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